(no subject)

[impalementarts]

First Person Sample:

[Clint Barton folks, was whammied pretty hard by the past few days. At the very least his ability to compartmentalize has been fixed somewhat.

Still, he owes them an explanation because having Barney show up like that wasn't fun for anybody. At least his mirror had...restraint and self control.

So he fixes the camera with a steely eyed gaze before nodding to them all, one after another.]

...That was, my brother.

For uh - [Everyone who he shot.] The score he mentioned that he wanted settle was with me.

[he smirks] Everybody's got skeletons in their closet.

....For what it's worth I really am sorry though, and if you want to come by and punch me in the face for it or for Barney's uh...arrow spree then I'll take it on behalf of him. I'm really honestly the one that deserves it? So...

...I'm really sorry.

[He rubs the back of his neck with a frown before he turns off the camera.]

Third Person

This is not supposed to happen.

All he wanted really was a quiet evening alone and while appearing on an internationally recognized TV show wasn't quiet it was about as close as he came to these days. The movie star is here for charity and half avengers interest, Hawkeye gets cheers and whistles and Chef Gordon Ramsey is screaming at his kitchen staff.

The starlet is waving and giggling and trying to tug his hand away from watching the cooks but he can't help looking for the exits.

"We should try and pose for at least a few photos."

"Okay. I'm not really...big...on PR..." God this was a dumb idea.

"That man's a bloody avenger! A bloody avenger! He saved your life the least you could do is cook him a decent meal!"

He buried his head in his hands, "...Oh god."

"It's cute!" The starlet grinned, "And it's true. And I can't wait to thank you for that tonight..."

That perked his ears up. He really hoped that the sound guy zooming in on his reactions wasn't listening.

But of course he was.

"Drink orders sir?"

He looked up at the familiar voice, blinking - just in time to see a woman with long straight red hair pulled back into a pony tail.

He frowned, "...Drinks?"

"Drinks sir."

Natasha's codes were easy to understand within reason, but seeing her here on what should have been his weekend off made him pause, raising an eyebrow in her direction before leaning back in his chair.

"...I'll have a moscow mule."

his date blinked and Clint shrugged his shoulders.

"Can't recommend that."

Ah. Something was up. No time to remember safe topics.

"What would you recommend?"

"Dry Martini."

"That's an awfully specific drink-"

"...I think I won't drink tonight actually." He nodded at his date, "We're celebrating something special. I'm an avenger. I saved the world..."

"And no one's forgotten it." Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Sir."

This was officially the dumbest idea Clint Barton had had in years. Which was fine. He could play it off. Standing, just as Natasha walked off to take another order. He stood up and stretched.

"Going to the can."

"What? Now? The-hey food is finally coming." his date turned, "Scallops appetizer."

Trying to get at him during a cooking show meant poisoning attempt so as their waiter - a male this time - brought him the food he raised a hand and casually, seemingly stupidly, knocked it to the floor.

The restaurant went quiet as Clint raised his hands, trying to help the man clean up as Gordon was distracted by one of his chefs staggering into the kitchen, bleeding and tied at the hands and ankles, hopping like some pathetic joke.

It made history, but when there were trace amounts of arsenic detected in the remains of his meal Ramsey was for the first time in his career apologetic.

"It's lucky someone got to the cheeky little bastard first."

It was odd that no one seemed to notice Natasha's disappearance, but Clint had shrugged it off and resolved - from here on out - no more public appearances. He was a SHIELD agent first and foremost, not some kind of celebrity. That was a dish, he would rather have not tasted.